thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
