Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
