i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
