Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
