i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
this just has baby written all over it
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
