i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
