I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize