I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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