His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It's blow job season.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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