Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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