He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
