I think my vagina is haunted
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
