you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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