In the future we'll all be gay
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
