your thong is hanging out like whoa
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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