are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
