My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
