She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize