I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
