He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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