A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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