Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
