Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
