I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
So squirting runs in the family.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
