The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
