you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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