Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
