her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
