i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize