she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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