rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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