i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
