i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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