You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
