what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
