And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
