so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Randomize
