So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
