how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
