he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize