I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
