Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
