We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
