so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
