just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
