Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
