anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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