and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
