I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
