I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
