Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize