I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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