The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
