I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We have started to decorate penises.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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