Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
