I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
