you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guiltš
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was āTits On A Stickā.
Randomize
