alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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