My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
its liver damage thursday
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
