she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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