Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
