Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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