you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You are a genius and a whore.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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