quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize