I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
