That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
this hospital has no fireball
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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