I am puke
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Of course I have a pirate flag
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
